He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
