dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize