if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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