just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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