You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
