you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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