You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oh god it's open bar.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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