Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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