So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize