we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
