Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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