Where is the hickey?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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