Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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