garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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