Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
