Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
