Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
