do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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