My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
it's unicorns you uncultured swine