I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
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I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Operation Purity has been aborted
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.