dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
