But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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