I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
