The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
