i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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