im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
