Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
