Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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