Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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