Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
