she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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