the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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