and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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