remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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