margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
