I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
