no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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