Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
