see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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