Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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