the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
