But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
