Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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