He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
