I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
