GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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