Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
