You made me cry and you don't even care
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
