i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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