You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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