nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
