I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
