the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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