Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
