Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize