Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize