This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
