considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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