So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You can't motorboat a personality
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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